Saying Goodbye

I don't really do goodbyes. I've never really had to. Most of the time when someone leaves it's unexpected, like they just disappear. My best friend of like 12 years up and moved to another state and didn't really say bye. I haven't talked to him much, it's been over a year now I think, I'm not sure if he even really likes me anymore. Never said goodbye though. When you have to say goodbye to someone that you care about, you know in advance that it's going to be a really long time before you see them again, or maybe you even know that you may never see them again.

I remember the first time I had to say goodbye to someone. I was 14 years old and I had been living in Hawaii. I dated this girl back then, she was kind of like my first real girlfriend. We had a lot of fun together. We were young and in love like a classic teenage romance. After a while it came time for my family to move back to the states. I knew I was moving thousands of miles away and that I may never see this person again. Of course we said that we would, making plans of the future and trying to figure out how we could maintain our relationship. I think that's just something we do because we don't want to admit to ourselves that it's really goodbye. I remember standing in the airport holding her close. I remember how bad I didn't want to leave, but I knew that I had no choice. It felt so unfair. I said goodbye and I walked to board the plane. I remember looking back and seeing her crying. It was the kind of cry that was part sad, but part happy. Sad because I was leaving and maybe never coming back, happy because we got to have our time. Our time to know each other, our time to be us. This time was important to me, because it was the first time I felt like someone loved me for who I am, even though I was only 14. I remember sitting in my seat. I looked over at my mother, as tears rolled down my face. That was the first time I ever had to say goodbye.

Of course now I'm 28 and it's 14 years later. I'm doing my thing, and she has a beautiful family now. We remained friends and even got to see each other once 5 years after I left Hawaii. In fact I am planning to head out there this summer to visit, I'm pretty excited to meet her partner and child!

Today was an interesting day, because for the second time in my life I said goodbye to someone again. I had not seen this person in quite some time now, in fact we haven't really talked in months. I wasn't sure this person even wanted to talk to me ever again. Suddenly yesterday, this person calls me up and says, I'm moving away tomorrow and I want to hang out before I go. I said ok. We had some good talks, and then we did our goodbyes. It's hard to know what to say when you are telling someone goodbye that you might not ever see again. When you say goodbye, it's like you know that you have to leave so you don't want to, but the time comes and you hug and you go. You try to think of what is the best thing to say as you leave, that final verbal goodbye.

"I'm glad we met"

That was the second time I said goodbye.